Online Mens Magazine, Videos, Photos, Blog, Jokes, Riddles, Dating Advice, Pickup Lines, Breakup Lines, Sex Advice, Games, Stories, News, Gadgets & More!

Top 50 Break Up Lines


These lines can be great to break up your relationships in times of need!

Rate the funniest one liners 10 being good and 1 being horrible, so we can find the best breakup lines used!

  1. I think it's time you knew. I'm Batman.

  2. “I’m holding you back from all the other lives you could be ruining.”

  3. "uhhh, yeah...get out."

  4. Your backside didn't look anything like the woman I was with the night before.....

  5. "My mom said I have to break up with you."

  6. ”You’re too young for me. I mean, too *old*. We’re the same age? Well, that doesn’t work for me, either.”

  7. "There was a time when you took my breath away... but now, you're just sucking the life out of me."

  8. " This just isn't for me. Nothing personal. I want to be able to tell people I'm single."

  9. "I'd rather date your sister"

  10. ”Dear Christine: By the time you read this I’ll be a woman…”

  11. ”My dog is having puppies and I need to take a year off in order to train them to attack your picture.”

  12. ”We just don’t have anything in common anymore — you’re a morning person, and I want to see your severed head impaled on a steel railroad spike.”

  13. "You mean more to me than life itself - but I'm suicidal - so FVCK off!"

  14. It's just a restraining order, it's not like it's the end of the world.

  15. Ow… I banged my head! That really hurt! Hey… who are YOU?

  16. ”I’ve got this disease… it’s called herpigonasyphalaids. Very contagious.”

  17. "I guess I'll see you... soonish."

  18. Do you mind if we drive by my ex's place? I just want to see if anyone is there.

  19. "If the phone doesn't ring, it's probably me."

  20. ”You’re no longer the wealthy, gullible, and desperately lonely man I fell in love with.”

  21. I really like you, but my parole officer doesn't.

  22. "You know our two friends, April and Mary, well, I slept with them... at the same time..."

  23. "I'm cheating on you so I don't want to be with you"

  24. ”I had lunch at the Hunan Palace today and according to the place mat, you’re a snake and I’m a mongoose.”

  25. "I'm gay"

  26. I have to have surgery and I might die so we can't see eachother anymore.

  27. I'm having a great time! Let's stop and get some Immodium on our way to the club.

  28. ”It’s not *you*, it’s me. Specifically, me would like to sleep with your sister.”

  29. ”You’ve gone from ’sponge-worthy’ to merely ’spongy.’”

  30. " I'm scared of your friends"

  31. ”My penis, uh, fell off, and I, er, lost it… yeah– on the subway, I think.”

  32. "Your too ugly to be seen with in public and since the state had cruelty against animals laws I am too afraid to take you in public forfear the public would try to capture you."

  33. ”Less filling? LESS FILLING??? I don’t even know who you ARE anymore!”

  34. i like you baby but you're not my type

  35. i think it would be better if i did not see you anymore , i think i may kill you,

  36. I'm afraid I've put you into the 'friend' category.

  37. "I think we need time apart"

  38. I need something more.

  39. Give me back my keys.

  40. I don't see myself marrying you. Ever.

  41. ”I’m sorry, but there just isn’t room in my life right now for both you and my vibrator.”

  42. ”I have early-onset onanism.”

  43. My parents don't want us to see each other no more...

  44. "I just cant live with the pathetic tickles that you call 'sexual thrusts' anymore"

  45. I tried... I'm sorry... I really tried but I just can't... see the thing is...I can't go on with you.... it's just not going to work out.. you see.... the thing is, I really like black guys.... I'm sorry...

  46. ”We’re just so different, you and I. You’re an extrovert, I’m an introvert. I like classical, you like heavy metal. And of course *I’m* not a physically repulsive raving psychopath.”

  47. I wish we had met 5 years down the line.

  48. " We just grew apart I don't need you anymore. "

  49. "I like to go to bars, and you can't, sorry!"

1