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Top 50 Break Up Lines


These lines can be great to break up your relationships in times of need!

Rate the funniest one liners 10 being good and 1 being horrible, so we can find the best breakup lines used!

  1. I think it's time you knew. I'm Batman.

  2. “I’m holding you back from all the other lives you could be ruining.”

  3. "My mom said I have to break up with you."

  4. ”Dear Christine: By the time you read this I’ll be a woman…”

  5. "There was a time when you took my breath away... but now, you're just sucking the life out of me."

  6. "If the phone doesn't ring, it's probably me."

  7. "I'd rather date your sister"

  8. It's just a restraining order, it's not like it's the end of the world.

  9. ”We just don’t have anything in common anymore — you’re a morning person, and I want to see your severed head impaled on a steel railroad spike.”

  10. ”My dog is having puppies and I need to take a year off in order to train them to attack your picture.”

  11. "I'm gay"

  12. Ow… I banged my head! That really hurt! Hey… who are YOU?

  13. "You mean more to me than life itself - but I'm suicidal - so FVCK off!"

  14. "I'm cheating on you so I don't want to be with you"

  15. "I guess I'll see you... soonish."

  16. ”I’ve got this disease… it’s called herpigonasyphalaids. Very contagious.”

  17. Your backside didn't look anything like the woman I was with the night before.....

  18. " This just isn't for me. Nothing personal. I want to be able to tell people I'm single."

  19. ”You’re too young for me. I mean, too *old*. We’re the same age? Well, that doesn’t work for me, either.”

  20. Do you mind if we drive by my ex's place? I just want to see if anyone is there.

  21. "uhhh, yeah...get out."

  22. ”My penis, uh, fell off, and I, er, lost it… yeah– on the subway, I think.”

  23. ”It’s not *you*, it’s me. Specifically, me would like to sleep with your sister.”

  24. "You know our two friends, April and Mary, well, I slept with them... at the same time..."

  25. I really like you, but my parole officer doesn't.

  26. "Your too ugly to be seen with in public and since the state had cruelty against animals laws I am too afraid to take you in public forfear the public would try to capture you."

  27. I tried... I'm sorry... I really tried but I just can't... see the thing is...I can't go on with you.... it's just not going to work out.. you see.... the thing is, I really like black guys.... I'm sorry...

  28. i think it would be better if i did not see you anymore , i think i may kill you,

  29. ”I’m sorry, but there just isn’t room in my life right now for both you and my vibrator.”

  30. "I just cant live with the pathetic tickles that you call 'sexual thrusts' anymore"

  31. ”We’re just so different, you and I. You’re an extrovert, I’m an introvert. I like classical, you like heavy metal. And of course *I’m* not a physically repulsive raving psychopath.”

  32. ”You’re no longer the wealthy, gullible, and desperately lonely man I fell in love with.”

  33. ”I had lunch at the Hunan Palace today and according to the place mat, you’re a snake and I’m a mongoose.”

  34. I wish we had met 5 years down the line.

  35. I have to have surgery and I might die so we can't see eachother anymore.

  36. I'm afraid I've put you into the 'friend' category.

  37. I don't see myself marrying you. Ever.

  38. i like you baby but you're not my type

  39. " I'm scared of your friends"

  40. "I think we need time apart"

  41. I'm having a great time! Let's stop and get some Immodium on our way to the club.

  42. ”You’ve gone from ’sponge-worthy’ to merely ’spongy.’”

  43. "I like to go to bars, and you can't, sorry!"

  44. My parents don't want us to see each other no more...

  45. " We just grew apart I don't need you anymore. "

  46. ”I have early-onset onanism.”

  47. I need something more.

  48. ”Less filling? LESS FILLING??? I don’t even know who you ARE anymore!”

  49. Give me back my keys.

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